Thirty Day Challenge. Day 12: Someone who caused you a lot of pain.

Dear person,
You know who you are, as well as most other people who read this know who you are. Let's start at the beginning.
We were both young. I don't know what you saw in me, but I saw everything in you. You were gorgeous. You are gorgeous. We spent a lot of time together. All the time we spent together was amazing. We had our rough spots in our relationship but those times only made us stronger. We shared everything together. We both knew each other inside and out. It was an amazing feeling to get to know someone that way. Then you did something that I never expected. I never expected it from you. I never expected it would happen to me. I never expected that would be the way things would end. You were selfish. I was destroyed. You had taken the trust and vulnerability that I had placed in you and you exploited it. I still have trouble entrusting my heart and my dreams to girls. You will never feel the pain I felt. And to make things worse, you never showed that you cared how much you hurt me.
It took me so long to forgive you. I let go of so much anger, and resent for you. Unfortunately I still hold a lot inside. Whenever you mention anything about that situation it takes all that I have to hold my pain and anger inside. I know that you are a new person and so am I. I am so proud of the girl that you have turned out to be. Even though it was one of the most painful experiences of my life, I am glad that I have helped shape you into an upstanding young girl. After I had forgiven you, we became very close again. And now we share a new kind of love. We've both thought about going back to those old days, but your current commitments are too much. I don't think that I am the type of guy you are into anymore. Sometimes we are real close and sometimes you seem so distant. Sometimes I wish you would stop. Sometimes I feel like you genuinely miss me, and sometimes I feel like a game. And I know that you are in a relationship and you are "happy" and I 100% intend to respect that. We both know that you will never be free again, and you can get mad because I said that, but deep down you know its true. I won't say anything else about that because I love you both. I know that you didn't want this blog to be about you, but we both know that you fit the description perfectly.
Matt

Thirty Day Challenge. Day 11: Someone Deceased you wish you could talk to.

Dear Noone,
This one is odd to me. I don't feel like  anyone needs to be contacted after they have passed. The person I miss the most is my grandpa, however my faith tells me enough about where he is and what it's like there. I know that he is happy, and I know he is looking down on me. He knows that I love him. He knows that I have moved passed the sadness of missing him, and on to being happy that he is finally is a place of peace and joy. Anything else that need be said can be said once I get to see him again. Love you Grandpa.
Matt.

Thirty Day Challenge. Day 10: Someone who you don't Talk to as much as you would like.

Dear Lizzie and Nathan,
After much thinking I decided that, even though I talk to you both a fair amount, you two are still the people I would like to talk to more. For those who don't know Lizzie and Nathan run a youth group in the summers that I attend. (This is along with Kimberly, but I talk to Kimberly much more than I talk to these two.) Lizzie and Nathan are a couple and a very good one at that. They are both very deep in their faith and have taught me so much. I talk to Lizzie away from youth group more often than I talk to Nathan. This is because whenever I text Nathan it takes him like 6 hours to answer me haha. But Lizzie has is very helpful in my spiritual growth. These two and I share similar beliefs that may be different than those of a lot of other more "traditional" Christians. It was something divine for me to find these two and have them open my eyes to different ways of following. I think that without them I would have never started the spiritual journey that I am on right now. I hope that these two go on to lead a very happy life and that everything that they deserve comes to them. I hope they continue to help people become closer to God, just as they have done with me. I hope they know that when I go out into the world and continue to spread The Word and as I do my best to change the world that I will never forget them. I love you both and I am blessed to know you.
Matt.

Thirty Day Challenge. Day 9: Someone I wish I could meet

Dear you,
Well, there are many specific people I would like to meet, such as Nelson Mandela, Mahatma Ghandi, Chris Johnson, and Michael Oher. But, instead of writing to one of them about why I would like to meet them, I will instead write to a type of person I would like to meet. This will specifically be to the type of girl I would like to meet. Ladies, take notes hahaha.
Ok, so the type of girl I would like to meet would have to first of all be gorgeous. She doesn't have to be blond or brunette, or wear tons of make up or always dress up, she just has to be, in her own way, gorgeous. She must be strong willed and focused, she should have her own beliefs and values, preferrably different from those which society has set up and made "standard." I want a girl who's morals and beliefs closely resemble my own. She should be very accepting of everyone and be very forgiving. She shouldn't value so much materialistic things, but rather be very thankful for the blessings she has. She should be honest, and faithful in all respects. She should be someone who wants to grow with me as a person, and a person of faith. She should be someone who is looking forward to a long happy life, that is far from boring and dedicated to helping others. I'm sure there are many other things that I would like to see in a girl, but if you know a girl who fits these, point her my way :).
Matt.

Thirty Day Challenge. Day 8: Favorite Internet Friend

Dear you,
Ummm, I'm not 100% sure what an internet friend is. Everyone I talk to on the internet is also my friend in person. I think it is a little creepy to talk to people online who you don't talk to in person. Never the less I will still write to someone tonight. This person is someone who I talk to more and more frequently online. This is because I am in college and she is back home. She is a tremendous girl. She is very closed with her emotions, however she still shares them with me. She comes to me for guidance and advice and, without being too preachy, I try to point her in the right direction. I talk to her about God and faith and how I think she should go about certain obstacles. She is very into the Christian ideals and I hope she can stay on track with them. She tells me that I'm amazing. She just doesn't know how amazing she is.
Matt

Thirty Day Challenge. Day 7: An Ex Girlfriend

Dear you,
This is to my most recent ex-girlfriend. I hope you're happy. Things ended quick. Just like this post.
Matt.

On another note, I had a great night. I feel like I made some serious progress in my spiritual journey. I can't wait to come home tomorrow and see some people, you know who you are :)

Thirty Day Challenge. Day 6: To A Stranger.

Dear Stranger,
Hmm. This is difficult. I guess I would just like to say to someone that I don't know that you should feel safe around me. I won't judge you for anything you do say or believe. I am different from anyone you know. I am a strong believer in God, but that doesn't mean I am planning on trying to convert you. I am also not going to call you a sinner or tell you that anything you do is wrong. I will try to steer you in the correct direction. But, if you don't take my suggestions that is ok, because what makes what I think is correct actually correct. If you need someone to talk to or need advice I am the guy you should come to. I enjoy meeting new people, so come talk to me. If you are in need of anything, I want to help. I know I can't do everything, but that I can do I will do, and I can help you to figure out how to get help with anything else. I don't ask for anything in return, except to take the values that hopefully radiate off me and share them with someone else. I want to be something big and something special. I am trying to change the world, everyday, one person at a time. I want to spread love. Also, I am going through a large time of change. Not only with going away to college, but spiritually, mentally, and even physically. This is me.
Matt

If  smiles were a currency, I'd want to be a billionaire.

Thirty Day Challenge. Day 5: My Dreams

Well, I'm not 100% sure how to write this one. So what I've decided to do is just tell what some of my dreams are and give a slight explanation as to why. So my first dream is already accomplished. I'm here, in college doing whats necessary to ensure a good future for me and hopefully a family. That leads me to my second dream. Finding a girl. Now finding any girl is easy I can just look around and I see hundreds. But I am looking for the right girl. A pretty young girl who shares similar beliefs as me and who know where she wants to go in life. This dream is the one that seems more and more impossible. Through my past experiences I find it harder and harder to open myself compeletely to any girls. This may be because I have many qualities that I am looking for in a girl and I refuse to settle. But I know that somewhere out there, there is a girl who is right for me. Now once we get past these next few years I dream of having an amazing job. I want to work for the Make a Wish Foundation. I want to see the look on a child's face when they get to fulfill a wish that could be their last. I want to help families through tough times and discuss ways of coping with pain. I am blessed with so much in this life and I dream of sharing it with the world. There are so many other things I dream of doing. But for now I'll stick with these.
Oh and if my brief stay at college has taught me anything thus far it's this, Never say never, Don't let anyone say you can't, And, If you truly believe it's right, never let anyone convince you it's wrong.

Thirty Day Challenge. Day 4: My Siblings

To Jeremy,
Good luck with Basic, and I hope you make the most of it. The choices you made earlier in life were less than what you should have been doing, but I'm glad you are taking responsibility now. I hope that going into the Air Force gives you a better look at life as college is doing for me. This is a good chance for you to make something of yourself so you can stop mooching of mom and dad. 
Matt

Kelsey,
It's your last year in highschool and I hope you have fun. I hope you can remain focused on your studies while you prepare for a great season of basketball. You always have been mom and dad's star athelete. However you sometimes appear to be not having fun which is why you play. Give your heart and have some fun. Get some good scholarships and I'll see you up here next year. Love you.
Matt.

Sorry they're short. My laptop was dying.

Thirty Day Challenge. Day 3: My Parents

Dear Dad,
I know that sometimes we don't see eye to eye but that does not mean I don't love you. I know that you have been here my whole 18 years of life and that is a lot more than some people can say. I never take you for granted. I know that you are very stern and sometimes yell but you've expressed to me the reasons why. I know that you made poor decisions when you were younger and never want me to make those mistakes. I'm glad you can talk to me about things you disapprove of. However, you have come to find out that I am not your little boy anymore and I can make decisions on my own. I know you tell me about how proud you are of me all the time but when it came time for you to give me the talk about college and you told me how glad I made you it shook me to my core. You are not always the greatest dad a kid could ask for but I wouldn't trade you for any other.
Matt

Dear Mom,
You know I've always been your boy. Growing up I got irritated when I didn't see you all the time. I didn't realize what kind of woman it took to take care of her husband and three young kids while earning her bachelors and working full time. You're my inspiration for going to college, and the reason why I won't screw up this opportunity. I know you will be very happy with any major I choose, but I know you want me to be a nurse. You and Grandma are the main reasons for my interest in nursing. You've always been there for me as a mother and as a friend. When Grandpa died we both were crushed, and you did your best to make it easier. I didn't think I would make it through that time without you. I don't know what I would do without you mom but just know that when I start making the big money, I'mma buy you something nice. I love you.
Matt

Thirty Day Challenge. Day 2: My Crush.

Dear Crush.
When I first read that today's post was about a crush, I thought "I don't really have a crush." But I guess I kinda do. See there is this girl that I met about a year ago and I see her here and there throughout the summer. She is very beautiful and very fun. We talk pretty often and both share things with each other that we would not share with others. She is always happy, and never judges me for any of my decisions. She does, however, steer me in the right direction. She is very smart and knows how she wants to live her life. This crush is nothing I could ever see myself acting on because I think it would ruin a beautiful friendship. If she reads this she will probably have no idea it is referring to her, but that is the beauty of life. She has no idea how much she guides me.
Matt

Thirty day challenge. Day 1: My Best Friend(s)

Dear Best Friends,
There is no way that I could narrow this down to one person. The group of guys who I hang with will know that I am referring to them when they read this. You guys are like my brothers. This past football season was a great way to end the years of school we have had to endure together haha. But whenever we were together we weren't enduring as much as we were enjoying. We never really needed to do anything to have a good time. We got a pretty damn good kick out of just sitting back and talking about kids we hate, or women. Haha. It seemed like everything led back to women. But now those time's have come to a halt, with one of us already gone for college.
 So to Brett Pickens, I love you man. You always kept me straight and in line when your dad wasn't. We had some great times together wether it be rolling down to Columbus to watch Brad play or just hanging out at Kernell's and hitting up the hot tub. The thing I will most remember you for though is the times on the field. Although we were both captains, you were the leader. When something went wrong people looked to you for the answer. And you always seemed to have it. But at times you would get frustrated and then you looked to me. Thats something I'll never forget.
To Ricky Suda, It's gonna be odd not seeing you everday of the week like we have for the past two summers, haha. But I know you will be happy down at Cap. I knew that because one of us liked a college it didn't mean all of us would, and I think the smaller school will be better for you. Have fun learning and then doing lacrosse. I'm sure I will still talk to you frequently on XBL. Don't forget everything we have learned at youth group and don't go down to college and change who you are. Oh and whip some ass.
Sean Muscaro, and Brett Grandy. I put you in the same category because I don't really have much to say to you, haha. Because Friday when I leave for college, you leave for college. And your asses will be 2 floors below me. I love you both and we are gonna have some fun over the next few years, well at least me and Sean. Haha. I'm just kidding Brett but you know what I mean.
I love you all, No homo. Matt